What I Want My Adopted Child to Know

What I Want My Adopted Child to Know

Adoption Book Reviews

A must read for adoptive parents
Bacchetta refuses to embrace (or allow her children to embrace) the victim mythology too common in our society. She insists that her children take responsibility for themselves, their decisions, and their lives. (“You’re not unique because you’re adopted. You’re unique because you’re you.”) Bacchetta manages to do this while still acknowledging that adoption has a life-changing impact on all involved — the child, birth/first parents, adoptive parents, extended family on both sides of the equation. It is rare to find a book that takes the specific and applies it to the general in such a way. A must read for adoptive parents.
— Adoptions From The Heart (adoption agency)

This book is a must read...
This book is a must read for those that are either considering adoption, are on the journey or already completed their journey. Sally's honest, warm and open adoption story is one that my husband and I could identify with. I saw so much of our adoption story in Sally's and it was wonderful to have the validation that the emotions that are felt during this process are indeed "real" and "normal". I only wish that this book had been available to read before we went through our journey as it would have demystified a lot of the process. I think that my favorite part of this book is the section that deals with what life is like for the adopted child as they grow and how an adoptive parent can understand and help the child through this process. There is no sugar coating here...what is written is the way it really is. Thank you, Sally, for writing one of the best books I have ever read!— C.A. Engh

Absolutely loved it!!
I absolutely loved it. It's more that a memoir, more than an adoption parenting book. Sally is very open sharing her feelings as an adoptive parent in a way I can completely relate to, always speaking from the heart. You'll find no sugar coating either, which I think is very interesting, as as this is such a lovely book. She gave me a lot of insight on what our adopted child might feel and experience as she grows up and how to help us understand and deal with it. She also shines some light on openness, on the side of the birthparents, on the search and reunion. It's a very inspirational, realistic and heartwarming story, a book that celebrates the miracle of adoption, a must have for any adoptive parent and adoptee.— Maru

Totally refreshing to have a normal perspective on adoption
Wow! It was totally refreshing to have a normal perspective on the adoption situation as opposed to social workers cramming issues onto adoptees or failures on adoptive parents. Yes, social workers have made some good contributions in making adoption more conscious of its effects but I do believe that they have gone overboard, e.g. the pendulum swinging in the other direction to the point of absurdity in over-compensation. It was nice for someone to finally point out that several issues are NORMAL for all people to experience and ultimately the individual is responsible for her/himself.— Kathleen Penzien, Esq.

Author hits her mark and then some
As a mental health therapist working with children and families, I picked up this book expecting to gain insight into working with adoptive families and adoptees, Bacchetta's ostensible audience. Fortunately for us, she overshoots her mark and produces a thought-provoking book that examines many of the existential dilemmas facing humankind as a whole. Bacchetta refuses to embrace (or allow her children to embrace) the victim mythology too common in our society. She insists that her children take responsibility for themselves, their decisions, and their lives. ("You're not unique because you're adopted. You're unique because you're you.") Bacchetta manages to do this while still acknowledging that adoption has a life-changing impact on all involved—the child, birth/first parents, adoptive parents, extended family on both sides of the equation. It is rare to find a book that takes the specific and applies it to the general in such a way. Bacchetta's book is a MUST READ for families involved in adoption and a SHOULD READ for everyone concerned with what it means to be human in this day and age.— Laurie Snyder

A must read for all adoptive and waiting adoptive parents!!!
I just sent this review to the author and wanted to share with the Amazon world! I have only gotten through the first 1 1/2 chapters so far, but I wanted to let you know that I have never felt more validated in all my life. I could have written your book. That is how much I (and my husband) identify with your words. We took a rode trip this weekend, and I read your book out loud while my husband drove. I read out loud until my mouth got dry and I was crying (from my experience, not the dry mouth...lol!). I just thought you should know that I love the book. I really think more adoptive (and waiting, like us) parents need to read this book!— Erin Vinersar

This book packs a punch for adoptive — and all — families
This little book delivers big advice to unique individuals in the composite groups that are, increasingly, today's families. Whether from an adoptive family, blended, step, extended, "onlies" or one in a larger group of traditional biological siblings, the author gets us thinking and realizing that we all come together differently. In Chapter 4 she lays it on the line to anyone from any type of family who is listening: "You Are Not Different Because You Were Adopted (You Are Different Because You Are You)." This no-holds-barred book propels the reader toward a new depth of understanding and as you read, you will eagerly tick off in your mind all the people you want to share it with when you're through.— Holly Swantek

I wonder...
Here's a message that I was motivated to send to Sally after reading the book: I wonder how many people have been (and will be) touched by your book. Clearly, your love permeates throughout the pages of the book. Your depth and honesty are touching. One can only imagine what the world would be like if all parents (and potential parents) shared your thoughtful perspective. I wonder if you realize that many of your messages are relevant to me (as a stepfather). You can probably imagine some equally "interesting" questions I have been asked. Somebody once advised me to: Love unconditionally...and love with your whole heart. Thank you for being a shining example, for it makes a difference. I wonder...when will you bless the world with the written word...again? Here's to your success!— Bob Manard

Must read for prospective placement and adoptive couples
Sally has pulled the curtain back on what for many is the most heart-wrenching decision that they will face. For prospective birth parents, "What are the people going through that I'm meeting to consider placing my most precious gift, my child, for a better life?" And for prospective adopting parents Sally addresses the myriad of feelings and the roller coaster of emotions that you will experience on your adoption journey. Told from her perspective, Sally weaves hundreds of interviews with adopting parents into a tapestry that shows the highs and lows of the adoption experience. A must read for anyone searching their soul on either side of the adoption equation.— Dave Lytle

Thank you for sharing your story
Sally's honest and heartfelt story should be read by all parties of the adoption circle. She conveys her adoption experience with sincerity and humor. Her unconditional love for both of her children and family is outstanding. I had a hard time putting the book down and finished it over a weekend. Thanks for sharing Sally.— Paula Jean

I've been waiting for a book like this
I read this book in two days! It's great to finally find a book that says what's in my heart and the hearts of other a-parents I'm sure. Ms. Bacchetta's style is honest, casual and so comfortable it's like talking to a trusted friend. I plan to give a copy to our birth mother to help her understand "this side." Great book!— C. Elkin

Foreword excerpt
Sally has written a narrative which is heartfelt, honest and warm. She’s told her story truthfully and without sugar coating, but also with knowledge from which I would have benefitted had the book been written before my family embarked upon our own journey to adoption. I can identify with Sally’s story—I have seen it repeated over and over again—with my friends, with my clients, and my family. And we adoptive families have all traveled the same paths about which Sally has written so eloquently and emotionally.
— Greg Franklin, Esq., Fellow of the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys